But, grandpa got retarded and they moved to Floriduh. I think I’ve just settled.- Melanie White, Being 30 is no joke, but it can be a lot of laughs.- Melanie White, I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me.- Melanie White, 30 isn’t old. He was a lunatic." Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. I’ll get help… BUT FIRST, I think I’ll check my e-mail. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! Since I’m going to be near the mailbox, I’ll address a few bills. The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn’t matter. Really." Squash their toes with your rocker. bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. It takes up a lot of your time. A man comes over and asks if they sell grass seeds.

I was 16 year old at that time and got serious with my GF and we decided to bang for the first time. Now, where is the checkbook? My house isn’t dirty. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”, The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly.”. I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me. Oh yes, I’m also flirting with Al Zymer. After such a busy day, I’m really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. That makes eighty, okay?”. Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. What happened there?

Don’t worry about being 30. Absolutely hillarious birthday one-liners! Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. A 16 year old boy outside the Fuck-For-A-Buck shop with only 99 cents. Everybody tolerates each other, and some of the men have actually been known to join in. I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days. “Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. I think the life cycle is all backward.
The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.- Joel Hildebrand, When I got into my 30s, and especially when I became a parent, my concept of “fun” changed, becoming less likely to involve people getting high or hammered or naked, and more likely to involve balloon animals.Dave BarryI have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most.

Everyone started honking!

“Yes, I know. Now they live in a place with lots of other Grandmas and Grandpas. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky. So the man pulls out his 3 wood and hits the ball.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. Still, I get all that guff from a punk who’s “Hellbent.”. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

Dad Jokes and Funny Father Quotes, because fathers are fodder for funny. He said, “For you seniors, the coffee is free.”. Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around. Copyright Notice:All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. The greates miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. Teeth swapping?

So don’t vote until Tuesday. More like the “hurties.” Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. Washing my hair has turned it all white, Calling it blond is just about right. Home milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard stoppers? This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet. I’m walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. First, you forget names, then you forget faces. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in bibical times. I’m still in the running, in this I’m secure, I’m not really old, I’m only mature. 1. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. BUT FIRST I’ll take the trash out. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, “Have you seen this?”, “What?” he said. Then they go cruising in their golf carts. When I told my wife that I still had the body of a 16 year old, she laughed. I’m a walking storeroom of facts, I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom. GERT: Holy smoke, What’s that? Boy, I’m glad I did!


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